You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
