hotel room ftw
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
