His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize