it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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