just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
