Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you inspire me to be a worse person
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
