She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dicks are not precious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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