good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
