I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm jealous of your bromance
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
