on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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