Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
