I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
