so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
