do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
