She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize