so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
