youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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