we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
