After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wish my penis had a tongue
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
