Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
