I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize