considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
