if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She told me I should be a condom model.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
