i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
