Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
