Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
