hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
