So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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