my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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