I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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