I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
