Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
