Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
