I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize