We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My penis needs a shock collar
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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