you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
