You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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