Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
