I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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