I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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