i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
