I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
