it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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