I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
