Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
