its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
