I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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