ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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