Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
