What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
