so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
