I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Terrible idea I love it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
