P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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