i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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