I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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