I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize