don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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