Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
