but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
