508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
