Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize