windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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