all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize