then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You're so nebulous sometimes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
